- If you’re a piece of shit, stop being a piece of shit. Most people don’t realize that being a piece of shit is extremely fucking expensive. You hang around with destructive people that cause drama and coerce you into non-optimal choices like wasting your money on drugs, alcohol and awesome tats, get you in trouble with the law, steal used condoms out of the trash and get themselves pregnant so they can stake a claim to your future paychecks, etc.
- Track all your expenses for a month. Identify everything you dont absolutely have to have to thrive. Reduce your cable service to basic, and keep the digital box ONLY for UFC ppv. NO PORN, you lazy dipshit. Get off your ass and get porn free on the internet, not $14.95 on PPV. Everything else you dont need? Stop buying that shit.
- Carefully go over your food purchases. Any food that doesn’t contribute to optimal nutrition, stop buying it. Look for ways to buy in bulk for cheap, healthy, home cooked meals. You don’t need those potato chips, fatass. Stop eating out.
- Park the truck, drive the Escort. You’ll look like a faggot, but you’ll save on gas. At $3.50 a gallon, that shit adds up quick.
- If you have extra, liveable space, rent it out. This can be as easy as putting a trailer in your back yard and letting one of your degenerate family members rent it. He can come inside to shit during appointed hours, but he should be warned to never make eye contact with anyone else in the house. If he follows these rules, you’ll barely even know he’s there.
- Sell that piece of shit car you’re never going to rebuild. What the fuck made you think you were smart enough, and well financed enough to restore that rusting hunk of metal back its former glory? You were drunk, obviously. Sell it to another drunk, and put it behind you for good. While you’re at it, find anything else in your garage that you can convert to cash.
- Gather all your bills up. Make only minimum payments. But find the smallest debt, and pay it down to zero as quickly as possible. Take the next smallest debt, and pay that one down to zero. And so on and so on. This is similar to a plan promoted by a dude named Dave Ramsey.
- Work any extra hours you can / find side jobs.
- Profit.
Category: Politics
February 13, 2012
How To Get Out Of Debt
January 8, 2012
Is Unemployment Really At an All-Time Low?
So I’m just wondering, is our national unemployment really at an all-time low? US Labor Board has our unemployment at a low, 8.5%, since the great national shit-pants crash of 2008. However, every time I read these statistics, I always read the fine print and notice that they measure this percentage by the number of people who are still collecting unemployment.
Let me reiterate: the 8.5% unemployment means the number of people vs. the national total who are collecting unemployment. Have you noticed that gobs of your friends, neighbors, and relatives, are complaining that their unemployment has ended, meaning that they’ve been on it since 2008, haven’t found a job, and now their grace period has run out?
So, to recap: the reported unemployment rate is going down, not directly related to whether or not it’s actually going down, but directly related to how many people are actually collecting unemployment.
I’m not suggesting that it isn’t going down; I am suggesting that this figure isn’t accurate based on how much of the nation is now officially worse off than they were in 2008 because they have both no job, and no unemployment benefits anymore. I do believe the economy is getting better, but I don’t believe it’s really at 8.5%. Really, all this number is good for is celebrating that there’s less draw on state and local government funding (Republicans, rejoice!).
What do you think? Log into Facebook and leave a comment below.
January 4, 2012
Eight Votes
So for those of you watching the Republican Caucus primaries today in Iowa, you know what happened. It came down to eight votes. That’s it. Romney beat Santorum by eight votes (Romney with 30,015 and Santorum with 30,007), in a Caucus where over 122,000 people voted.
A lot could be said for what this will mean for the race, what this means for the country, what this means by demographic area (say, the Mid-West or so-called “Evangelical Republicans”), but before I get ahead of myself and into future blog posts, I just wanted to reiterate: it all came down to eight votes.